'New in Town' could benefit from subtitles
Film's decent once you get past overdone Minn. dialect
By Phil Villarreal
Pvillarreal@azstarnet.com
Tucson, Arizona | Published: 01.29.2009
Well hullo der! Lemme put down my bowl of tapioca and talk atcha 'bout da romantic commy "New in Town."
The gosh-darned movie is so chock-fulla Upper Midwest colloquialisms, why, it makes you feel asdo yer a small-town Minnesotan yerself.
Director Jonas Elmer populates his world with moose-hunting, earmuff-toting, Sarah Palin-like caricatures — ya just wanna reach out and hug da screen. Da folks give big-city gal Lucy (Renée Zellweger) a "City Slickers"-like learnin' 'bout down-home values.
Bigwigs send da ambitious Miami bidnesswoman up nort da take over a food-makin' plant an' bring costs down on account of da recession.
Her corporate-speak pretnear starts a riot. I'm tellin' ya, da guys are so worried 'bout losin' der jobs dey treat Lucy like a gopher who got into da garbage, donchaknow.
Lucy gets no 'fection from Flo da waitress (Nancy Drake) and can hardly get a hidey-ho outta Stu da foreman (J.K. Simmons). She does get hot to trot over Ted (Harry Connick Jr.), da truck-drivin' and three-day-beard-wearin' union rep who wants to stop her from layin' off half da plant.
Da town starts ta warm to Lucy once she pretnear goes as cuckoo as yer grandaddy's clock and starts ta 'similate instead of walkin' round all highfalutin.
Ya gotta 'mire Lucy's resolve. Why, dare's a hunnered reasons fer her ta skedaddle — da cold wedder, da tuff jawb an' da unfermillar customs da namer few — but she's tougher'n two-dollar jerkey an' she makes her way. Why, da only differns 'tween Lucy an' a hockey mom are high heels that get stuck ta da ground on account a da snow.
Yah, sure. Zellweger's back in top-dog Brijit Jones firm, yah sure. Her an Harry sure do get sparks flyin' nuffta heat up da basement. Da way da actors melt da ice 'tween demselfs and manage to close da lights fer some horizontal polka is a sight to behold.
It's als fun da see Lucy slip 'round like a declawed badger, gettin' her car stuck in da snow, freezin' her tail off outside da airport an' stuff alla time. Ya darn tootin' Zellweger had a stunt double fer somma da crazier falls. J'ever 'member seein' Zellweger make such a durn fool arself?
So what if da movie speeds off da rawls in der final act, with a feel-good finale 'bout as likely as a Vikings Super Bowl win. It's n-spirin to see da town come tergetter ta stop da plant firm goin' ka-put an' fight off da corprit muckety-mucks — all under Lucy's guidance.
It's a given dis one is more fer da ladies than da fellas, and some of da dialogue is pretnear hard da swallow.
One thing I hafta give da movie credit fer is how it doggone nails da way we talk. Not a whole lotta us speak dis way, but it sure'z nice ta pretend we do fer da movie's sake. A nodder thing that maybe ain't quite right is how da movie says we eat tapioca mornin' noonen night, but dat's Hollywood.
Ya watch an ya shake yer head sometimes, mebbe scream out an "uffdah!" durin' da more sillier parts.
But is it wartcherble? You betcha.
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