Idiotic thriller 'Thr3e' a no-brainer
Adaptation of ludicrous idea in 'Adaptation' a dumb exercise
By Phil Villarreal
Pvillarreal@azstarnet.com
Tucson, Arizona | Published: 01.04.2007
"Thr3e" is r3ally, r3ally aw4ul.
Directed by Robby Henson, the drama is about Kevin (Marc Blucas), a seminary student stalked by a killer who teases him with riddles and tries to murder him by setting up easily avoidable timed explosive devices. The "Riddle Killer" often leaves Kevin riddles that lead directly to a place where he might be offed by one of the bombs.
All Kevin needs to do to stay safe is not solve the riddle. But Kevin is not one to back down from challenges, so he solves each riddle as though he were Tom Hanks as Dr. Robert Langdon, goes to whatever back alley, abandoned home or empty warehouse the killer directs him to, then jumps away at the last second when the explosion comes.
This is what the movie is about. You question not only Kevin's motives, but those of the Riddle Killer, who is less a criminal mastermind than a cheap imitation of one of Batman's sillier enemies. At least the Riddler was clever enough to steal some jewels before tipping off the Caped Crusader of his whereabouts with his taunting brain-teasers. The Riddle Killer is too illogical to fear. In one instance, Kevin opens a book to find a hole has been ripped in the middle of a bunch of pages, leaving a place for a ringing cell phone, with which the killer will tell Kevin a new riddle.
If the Riddle Killer just has a thing for psychological torture, so do the filmmakers.
Kevin and two friends — a sexy cop named Jennifer (Justine Waddell) and Kevin's childhood platonic girlfriend, Samantha (Laura Jordan) — solve the brain teasers together, make up a passive-aggressive love triangle and narrowly avoid getting killed throughout the film. At least the script explains why the ladies stick around: Jennifer's got a grudge against the Riddle Killer because he killed her brother, and Samantha feels like she needs to protect Kevin, who comes from a disturbing household presided over by his cruel, tiara-wearing aunt.
Very little in the movie makes sense, and almost nothing interesting happens. And yet something seems vaguely recognizable. Then it hits you. In the 2002 film "Adaptation," a hack writer played by Nicolas Cage bandies about an idea for one of the most idiotic thrillers imaginable. His screenplay was called "The Three," and its hilariously dumb third-act twist is exactly what you'll find in "Thr3e."
The scary thing is someone must have watched "Adaptation," heard the story for "The Three" and thought it would make a great movie.
No, it wouldn't, and even the disinterested cast seems to recognize it.
At one point, Kevin stares off into nothingness, breathes deeply and exclaims, "I'm tired."
So is the plot. And the audience.
